Imagine Jensen sitting in a waiting room and there’s another man sitting opposite him. The receptionist comes out and says, “Dean?” and both Jensen and the other guy start to get up and then look at each other and Jensen’s just like “Oh, God, not again” and sits back down covering his face.
I found this and I still think it’s hilarious
"Don’t take a nude pic if you’re a famous woman and don’t want it leaked."
"Don’t wear a hoodie if you don’t want to be mistaken for a criminal and shot."
"Don’t get drunk at a party if you don’t want to be sexually assaulted."
"Don’t argue with a cop if you don’t want to get killed."
"Don’t walk home by yourself if you don’t want to get raped."
Victim blaming 101: Everyone should live in fear from ever doing anything.
One time I was at a church retreat and a bunch of us were all talking and playing cards. Well I ran out of soda just as my friend was getting up to get a refill so I shouted to him "Hey, Bryan, Mountain Dew me.” Do you see where this is going because I did not.
You guys, I literally shouted a phrase that sounded like “Mount and do me” in a room full of very conservative people. I did not share this near death experience for 22 notes.
how do you get a nice body without moving
Homosexuality is unnatural! It says so in this book where snakes talk, people come back from the dead, a guy walks on water, and a virgin has a baby.
Do you ever want to talk to someone but
1) You feel like you’re bothering them or coming off clingy
2) You don’t have anything to say, you just want to talk to them
3) You don’t know how to hold a conversation to save your life